{"product_id":"dog-captain-womens-tee","title":"Dog Captain Women's Tee","description":"\u003ch2\u003eThe Lore\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eChannels the exact energy of \u003cstrong\u003emid-2010s anthropomorphic meme culture\u003c\/strong\u003e when Golden Retrievers became internet royalty. The dignified profile paired with that mahogany pipe and faux-gold captain's braiding triggers instant recognition of surrealist pet humor (doge energy meets maritime authority). Wearing this proves you understand that the best companions deserve fictional naval ranks and tobacco accessories. For those who remember when \"good boy\" memes ruled Reddit and every pet photo needed an occupation upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eThe Specs\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFabric:\u003c\/strong\u003e Sourced regionally for speed and reduced transport emissions.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUS:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dense-Knit 240 GSM (93% polyester, 7% spandex) · \u003cstrong\u003eEU:\u003c\/strong\u003e Heavyweight 215 GSM (96% polyester, 4% spandex)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrint Tech:\u003c\/strong\u003e Deep-Dyed Sublimation—ink uses high temperature vapor osmosis to bond directly with the fabric molecules for a zero-texture, breathable print that will never crack, peel, or fade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeel:\u003c\/strong\u003e Graphics feel weightless like sea breeze—colors bonded permanently without texture. Moves with captain-level confidence through dog park adventures and waterfront strolls. Breathes easy with dignified absurdity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFit:\u003c\/strong\u003e A contoured cut with a tapered waist and standard length. The fabric has 2-way stretch (horizontal give), but the knit can cling to curves. \u003cstrong\u003eRuns small:\u003c\/strong\u003e We strongly recommend sizing up +1 for a comfortable fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eThe Trust\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOEKO-TEX® 100 · REACH Compliant · Zero-Wastewater Printing · \u003cstrong\u003eSweatshop-Free Production (US\/EU)\u003c\/strong\u003e · Made-to-Order (Zero Overproduction) · \u003cstrong\u003eFade-Resistant Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRating:\u003c\/strong\u003e G · Wholesome Absurdist · Family Safe\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVisual Accessibility:\u003c\/strong\u003e A photorealistic Golden Retriever strikes a dignified profile, rendered in rich warm biscuit and honeyed amber fur. This whimsical \"sea captain\" wears a traditional maritime peaked cap (stark white crown with a midnight navy band) while clamping a dark mahogany bent tobacco pipe firmly in its mouth. The background features a soft-focus wash of muted greens fading upward into atmospheric greys and a pale glacial mist.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Shirtwascash","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":49199057273051,"sku":"jpd1788074193662","price":23.28,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":49199057305819,"sku":"rjw1788074193663","price":22.54,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":49199057338587,"sku":"anu1788074193664","price":25.13,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":49199057371355,"sku":"cmd1788074193665","price":29.19,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":49199057404123,"sku":"uio1788074193666","price":24.76,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":49199057436891,"sku":"okb1788074193667","price":29.22,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/2862\/4603\/files\/dog-captain-womens-tee_1.jpg?v=1788074197","url":"https:\/\/www.seasideorchard.shop\/products\/dog-captain-womens-tee","provider":"My Store","version":"1.0","type":"link"}